Posted in quatorzain by maggie on 2012/01/20

When raining stopped, when our skies went dry
and we didn't count the days at first
or constantly think of our raging thirst
or consider ourselves a reason why
but kept on like always resisting change
that might have cared with an unselfish eye
until earth all around cracked gray and strange
and even then called the damage unreal,
tuning in false forecasts to gauge prospects by
except seed wouldn't grow and cut wouldn't heal
for the absence of rivers below or above
and a scorching fire consumed the wheel,
then we called ourselves dead and lay down to die
when rain stopped where we'd lived our love. 

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9 Responses

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  1. clarioretenebris said, on 2012/01/20 at 19:18

    You always feel so comfortable with your rhyme, like slipping into soft faded jeans that still fit just right. So often, and I know I’ve been one of the worst at this, poetry goes out of its way to avoid rhyme, except for lyrics. But as terrible as it is when a clumsy beginner pushes at a word or phrase just to force a bad rhyme, just as awful it would be in a poem like this one you’ve written here if one were to strain to find alternative words and images solely in the interests of NOT rhyming. It simply feels like the words you’ve chosen are precisely the same ones that would have been said in speaking out on your image naturally, without any more design than the “rhyming” of a beehives repetition or rainfall all bending the same direction as the wind. I love reading poems like this out loud, if only for your soft touch on your rhyme, and in how the rhyme sounds carry the voice of your poem.

    Uh yeah, and I’m curious about something . . . . . . . . but I’ll just watch for now, like squinting for a cloud at the edge of that clear sky out there, myself not being one to ever stop expecting rain.


    • maggie said, on 2012/01/21 at 08:02

      Snowed in today here, so I’ll be snuggled up reading and writing all day, sending our leftover white your direction. What are you curious about, C? If you tell me, I’ll tell you.

      • clarioretenebris said, on 2012/01/21 at 12:34

        Curious: who “liked” this one. If NOMB, ok, but I’m curious.

        • maggie said, on 2012/01/21 at 12:59

          Harmless curiosity, C. Quite harmless. He’s a good friend, helped me through a rough stretch of road a few years back, and worked with me on my writing.

          He’s reclusive. You won’t see much more than a glimpse of him. But he’s always been there when I needed his help. So I headed down to see him a few weeks back, on a matter relating to a family member recovering well from a critical illness. He’ll be helping us out, so don’t be too surprised to see him loitering on the corner now and then.

          • clarioretenebris said, on 2012/01/21 at 19:41

            A huge burst of joy for hearing of your family recovering well. If it’s who I think, I hope you don’t mind I’ve been praying continuously for her healing, never once giving up hope. I know, me praying probably sounds like the sort of thing one would want to dodge, but I’ve been known to pray for impossible things that many have said they’d never live to see the day, then have it come through, and I don’t say so to claim any credit, just that it feels so good to be pulling on the right side of the rope every now and then. And God knows, your kin belong on that right side of the rope! Joy, pure joy, and more prayers sent for you and her.

            And thanks for resolving my curiosity about the other one for me. I was just wondering.

            • maggie said, on 2012/01/21 at 20:04

              Oh, I don’t mind your prayers at all, not at all! Thank you. And I will let her know, I’m sure she will thank you too. And don’t ever stop praying, no matter what the cynics think. The god who listens will be the one that is the heart of those you are praying for. Your faith makes a difference. Your love matters.

  2. maggie said, on 2012/01/21 at 13:53

    I like how you hear rhyme, C. It’s something I try but seldom feel as satisfied with as it sounds inside my head. Nice if someone else hears it past my stutter.

    Which brings me to a curiosity thing of my own. C, will we see more of your writing? Soon? Please? I’ve already told you why I have kept the link in place, but I would love to see it go somewhere home again, especially with where you’ve come and what you went through getting there.

    • clarioretenebris said, on 2012/01/21 at 19:51

      I only had one purpose in posting. Once that was settled, I had no reason to continue, nor to leave behind anything for trash collection day.

      i do still write daily, and the one I write for now reads each word and knows me and shares with me through my words and hers both, as I had always prayed, hoped, wanted.

      I do have a growing respect for how reading your poems reaches out, affects me, lives and breathes your heart and mind. But I can’t reciprocate with my own. Mine should have always been private, like two lovers making love, and from now on will remain that way.

      But thank you for your kind words. Your attention is real and good, and I appreciate it.

      • maggie said, on 2012/01/21 at 20:09

        OK but don’t mind me if I pout or exhibit jealousy for your friend.

        (By the way, you might want to warn her ex to find a sunset to head off into. Your prayers may be effective for healing and reconciliation, but as for me, people who get on my bad side for how they are to people I care about, they tend to break parts or run into things or fall into bottomless holes, shit such as that. Just saying, she should give it up while she still has anything left that works.)

Sincere comment by readers who accept responsibility for their words will earn my appreciation and response.

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