pearls

Afterthought 19—A Poisoned Kiss

Posted in pantoum by maggie on 2014/12/10
 

Even now after everything you're still his,
light of a false sun defining what you see.
You hear only what he says, not what is,
giving up on the fight for who you'll be.

Giving up on the fight for who you'll be,
you yield him all control. You're left alone,
light of a false sun defining what you see
until all you could ever have been is gone.

Until all you could ever have been is gone
you give up your words, your light, your heart.
You yield him all control, you're left alone —
Fools never understand metaphor nor art.

Fools never understand metaphor nor art.
You hear only what he says, not what is,
you give up your words, your light, your heart —
Even now after everything you're still his.
 
 
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2 Responses

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  1. rsvendsen07 said, on 2014/12/10 at 12:30

    I love the way this is written with the repeated lines for emphasis. It’s fantastic. Well written well done. ❤️

    • maggie said, on 2014/12/10 at 13:23

      Thanks you for reading and commenting.

      I’m slightly modifying the pantoum form. (Click “older posts” under that category to read conventional pantoums I’ve written.) I first met the form through a close friend, Nancy. One of her pantoums — acceptance — she drafted to help explain to me how form in poetry can help convey the voice of the poem.

      Some who really ought know better criticize formal structure, rhyme and the repetition found in a pantoum as less “honest” than an undisciplined blurt. As if there is no formal structure, the essence of rhyme and the very pantoum-like repetition in a month’s moonlight? or that such elements may appear present yet as if they are false?

      Which is what I was writing to here, in response to a struggle another friend, Sara, had been having with her muse. (One of Sara’s own variations on the pantoum form – Switchback.) Sara herself frequently explored this same topic – that struggle with her muse’s control – through her own obsession with repetition in poetry. Going in circles… giving up… losing… over and over, hence the form. Missing her…


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