Afterthought 17—Contemplation on Dusk

Posted in sonnet by maggie on 2014/12/05

How could you let him strip you of your wings
so you might wallow in his bed?  Why did
you let him blind your eyes, to keep you hid
from your own vision, one of his bleak things?

How dared you let him choke the voice that sings
a song you now can't hear?  Why let him rid
your word its passions once held close, now slid
into loose lies and vague meanderings?

The planets, all in retrograde too soon,
it must have been, right?—backfire from a shot
against a love you dared let him impugn,
to whom it was he killed not giving thought.
You wane your way to dawn, so like the moon
you look around for, so sincere, yet not.

A Trivial Indiscretion

Posted in quatorzain by maggie on 2012/02/01

Your bedroom door's half open.  I'm supposed
to feel as welcome as if I belonged
as much at home with you as any dream
you've dreamed up on your own. How've I so wronged
myself this easily?  Let's keep it closed.

The door, yes that, but also what's been said
between us. Words show barely what they seem,
not when they're such rash promises in bed
unsuited to a street's concrete regime.

Disclosed or closed, exposures we express
were meant to be kept private, a disguise
to justify assumptions so misread
as to engage our bodies to the lies
our sheets lie, crumpled stale untidy mess.

As Easily Regret

Posted in quatorzain by maggie on 2012/01/31

Our sheets lie crumpled, stale untidy mess
I've not cleaned up yet, no.  Your cigarette
half finished, half remembered at its worst
extinguishes what's left of longing, yet
its ash makes your scent hang on all the less.

I wanted you with me here longer, yes.
Was vagueness in my eye that wound a net?
I want you still. That must be love, I guess,
or something I'll as easily regret.

But heed your friends' advice - Were you to let
me keep you here, it'd be to wild excess
you'd best abandon.  Home and family first!
And that way, as your allies no doubt stress,
you're trained to handle every foreign threat.

Another Life

Posted in quatorzain by maggie on 2012/01/26

You're trained to handle every foreign threat?
Don't think I don't appreciate your locks
and keys and walls and guns. Your duty rocks
the world, and you don't even break a sweat.
It's just, I'd rather rock a bassinet.
The threat I fear most's knitting up these socks
with no wee feet to wear them. Freedom mocks
me showing my surrender, "Not as yet."

Like any sonnet, things don't get designed
to fall out perfect, me with you here. So
yeah, word be told, you are my life. I'd mind
your leaving, but if you should have to go,
the best of you will've been left behind —
I have another life you wouldn't know.

Just a Thought

Posted in quatorzain by maggie on 2012/01/25

I have another life.  You wouldn't know
its purposes. I'm boring you again.
OK, I said I've got another life
outside the one you favor now and then.
Should we do this some time more apropos?

No, never mind, no problem.  I'll just go
find somewhere else to be. Just tell me when
you're finished up your game of man and wife
and I'll pick up where I left off.  I've been
unnoticed. I'm not new to this. Although . . .

. . . just a thought, if I might be so bold —
One's other life, I'm thinking, shouldn't shut
the other's other life out in the cold.
A friend stands by a friend no matter what.

Play As Though

Posted in quatorzain by maggie on 2012/01/25

A friend stands by a friend no matter what —
that's how I know a friend is what I ain't
since standing here I get kicked in the butt
while any casual customer's a saint.

I never had what they're prepared to pay
and can't put up with what they came to take.
It isn't you, that's all I guess I'll say;
it's just we never had much love to make.

Don't worry, you'll forget me once it's done.
What I'll remember? Never mind, I know -
"No strings to tie us down, all in good fun,"
so memories I keep'll play as though.

OK, let's split one final glass of wine.
I've seen the end, it's come time to resign.

Early Dismissal

Posted in quatorzain by maggie on 2012/01/25

I've seen the end, it's come time to resign
what trivial mission may once have been mine.
The street from here on out's one angels walk
whereas I'm only words to you, just talk.
I hold nothing against you, that don't doubt,
but nothing more between us would work out.
One final kiss then. I've a train to catch,
with way too many loose threads to detach
and conflicts in my schedule to resolve.
You know - things in which we ought not involve
each other further. Say goodbye, best friend.
Who said so first won't matter to our end.

(I've never handled closings very well.
What the hell is wrong with me!  Do tell!)

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Posted in quatorzain by maggie on 2012/01/24

What the hell is wrong with me!  Do tell
what made me let you back into my bed.
The last thing I remember having said
was let's just kiss goodbye, so what the hell
possessed me once again?  What evil spell
consumed me? — so exposed, not one thin thread
to cover for me!  What damnation spread
me out like this, here where our bodies fell?

Get up, get dressed!  You know how I abhor
this vice you fancy your most vile conceit.
If love takes this, then let's make love no more.
Let's act like I'm unfriended next we meet.
You'll find that easy out your nearest door.
Leave me, wicked lover!  Hit the street!

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Posted in quatorzain by maggie on 2012/01/22

Leave me, wicked lover! Hit the street
facefirst, for all I care. You'll not get missed
by me, what with the company you keep. 
Permit me to forget you still exist
since I've existed solely for defeat,

scarcely worth your worst. Why then repeat
our sick affair? Why risk another tryst
on sins you'd have to answer for? How cheap
word gets depends — to you the twist
depends who's beating versus who gets beat. 

Go on, get out! I don't deserve the hurt
of love like yours. Leave now! I must insist. 
Besides, it's not as though you owe me dirt —
I never could've been one you'd've kissed.

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